


Close to You

by seven_10



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, Lots of Crying, M/M, this is so sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 17:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15248130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seven_10/pseuds/seven_10
Summary: I was listening to The Carpenters' Close to You and then it suddenly occurs to me to write this fic and i'm so sorry...i know i'm a bad person please forgive me!! i should've had gone to sleep instead of writing it butttttttt.....nevertheless if you love tragic stories like me (yeah i know i'm the worst) read it.And also i'm not an expert in any kinds of illness whatsoever so whatever kinds of symptoms you'll read in here were just all made up.





	Close to You

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to The Carpenters' Close to You and then it suddenly occurs to me to write this fic and i'm so sorry...i know i'm a bad person please forgive me!! i should've had gone to sleep instead of writing it butttttttt.....nevertheless if you love tragic stories like me (yeah i know i'm the worst) read it. 
> 
> And also i'm not an expert in any kinds of illness whatsoever so whatever kinds of symptoms you'll read in here were just all made up.

 

 _“Why do birds suddenly appear_  
_Every time you are near?_  
 _Just like me, they long to be_  
 _Close to you_ …”

“Iwa-chan?”

“hmmm?”

“I really love you so much…you know that right?” Oikawa said shifting his head to face Iwaizumi

“I love you too Tooru” Iwaizumi said planting a kiss to Oikawa’s head…

\---

Life’s too short to even think about ‘what if I’ll die tomorrow’ yet maybe somewhere along those lines you should’ve probably start thinking about _death_. Oikawa Tooru, of all people in this world, was chosen to just have a spare time of his life for not so long.

It started fair and square, beautiful and dear until it’s not anymore.

Lung Cancer, stage 4, 3 weeks maximum left. And everything to Oikawa makes sense now, the constant back pain and occasional chest pains, labored breaths and fatigue was because he’s dying. Yes he’s fucking dying and he’s just 28, how was that even fair?

 

 _Why do stars fall down from the sky_  
_Every time you walk by?_  
 _Just like me, they long to be_  
 _Close to you_

“Iwa-chan?” it’s never easy to accept the fact that sooner or later you’ll be gone in this world for real but to tell the love of your life that he’ll be facing life alone from now on because he’s husband will soon wither like those flowers in fall…it’s more than torture. “did I ever tell you how much you mean to me?” Iwaizumi can’t quite understand Oikawa at this moment “I’m so lucky to know you, became my best friend, my boyfriend and now my husband…” Oikawa continues trying to find a way to tell Iwaizumi everything

“Oikawa you’re being weird, what’s wrong?”

Everything’s wrong and that’s for sure, he, Oikawa Tooru is known for his ‘i-can-find-solution-to-everything’ kind of personality but it’s only in front of Iwaizumi that he can—even just for a moment—gave up on acting strong and just cry.

“Tooru?”

“I’m sorry”

“what’s for?”

“I’m dying Hajime” Oikawa finally said it. It was the hardest moment of his life, beside that he can barely breathe but Oikawa Tooru was never been weak.

“don’t talk crap like that Shittykawa” Shittykawa, Dumbkawa, Trashykawa…those insults that was made by Iwaizumi just for him.

The constant bickering and on how they throw insults one after another. The times they spent in bed trying different ‘coitus style’, the way Iwaizumi’s tongue taste inside Oikawa’s mouth…those _memories_.

Oikawa can’t suppress his tears that he’s been holding since he got the news anymore, and it hurts emotionally and physically. He winced at the sudden pain shot straight to his chest like someone struck him an arrow so hard it bull’s eyed. He brings his hand to his chest trying to ease the pain. “m’sorry” he muttered and Iwaizum’s more than confused than he’s already is.

Oikawa’s dying? No! NO THAT CAN’T BE TRUE!

“Iwa-chan…I think…I think I might need to go to the hospital” Oikawa said. He doesn’t want to go there anymore but he can’t contain the pain anymore, it’s radiating throughout his whole body and if he’ll stay here any longer he’ll totally die right now. He let his family know about this first and his sister was hysterical, his mother can’t even say a word without bursting into tears and Oikawa’s more than guilty for making them feel this way. If only he take good care of his self, if only he didn’t set aside the symptoms, if only he’s not going to die…

Maybe it’s the adrenaline working ‘cause Iwaizumi’s clearly not in his right mind after he phoned the paramedics and everything just happened in a blur.

Lung Cancer. Stage 4. Oikawa’s dying.

 

 _On the day that you were born the angels got together_  
_And decided to create a dream come true_  
 _So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue…_

 

\---

Iwaizumi never left Oikawa’s side until the doctors said he’s stable (not that stable, he’s still dying and Iwaizumi wanted to punch a tree so hard that mother nature would be mad at him and struck him with lightning 60,000 volts, maybe turning into ashes right away can help ease the pain he’s feeling right now).

“Iwa-chan” Oikawa’s pale as sheet, multiple wires attached to his body connected to a machine that monitors his vitals and to help him breathe.

Oikawa’s case is pretty rare. It doesn’t show any symptoms not until it’s too late to perform a surgery or even chemotherapy. Maybe because he’s an athlete that’s why the shortness of breath, fatigue and other symptoms appears to be normal to him so he didn’t mind it at all until he should have had.

“how are you feeling?” Iwaizumi knows it was the dumbest thing to ask ‘ _how are you feeling?’_ on a person who’s clearly not ok at all but he can’t just…he can’t just do it.

“I’m good” Oikawa said pushing himself to sit an Iwaizumi help him adjust his bed “I’m sorry”

“Why do you keep on apologizing?”

“’cause I’ll be leaving you soon”

“ _Tooru_ ” this is not the future he envisioned for the two of them, especially for Oikawa he’s too young for all this crap! He doesn’t deserve any of it. “I love you so much” tears rolling down Iwaizumi’s cheeks as he hugs Oikawa. “I love you so much Tooru” he sobs, Iwaizumi just can’t let go of his husband.

“Hajime” Oikawa’s voice cracks as he speaks, no one wanted this…and it’s just so unfair “Hajime”

“Tooru…I can’t do this alone, please don’t leave me” Iwaizumi begs and Oikawa’s heart shattered into pieces.

If only…if only he can snatch God’s lists of ‘next to die people’ he would and erase his name on it, but he can’t…he’ll never can.

 

 _That is why all the girls in town_  
_Follow you all around_  
 _Just like me, they long to be_  
 _Close to you…_

Life is truly unfair and it’s clearer to Iwaizumi now, he’s best friend, his husband, Oikawa Tooru. His rail, his core, his everything.

 

 _On the day that you were born the angels got together_  
_And decided to create a dream come true_  
 _So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue…_

 

\---

Iwaizumi’s the one who told their friends about the news and he never imagined this would happen. Oikawa was discharged last week, they went home and just stay there for 3 days straight, they did everything together as if it was their last, but he woke up one night with a gasping Oikawa, hand clutching on his chest.

Iwaizumi was so scared he was so scared that Oikawa will die right there at that moment. He can’t move, he can’t speak, and he can’t breathe. He doesn’t even remember how he managed to call the paramedics and how he end up on the waiting area in the hospital.

“what the hell fuck?” Makki was the one who first broke the silence after Iwaizumi told them about Oikawa, Makki knows Oikawa pretty well and he knows that the guy always pull pranks like this to them but Iwaizumi? He’s never…he’ll never.

Iwaizumi’s tears failed him, it hurts so badly. “I don’t know what to do” he said running his hands to his head pulling his hair, he wanted to shout, he wanted to punch someone, he wanted to…He want’s Oikawa to live.

“why…” Mattsun really don’t understand even how much he tries to process everything he just…he just can’t. The great Oikawa Tooru? His captain? The one who likes milk bread in the most not normal way? The one who’ll throw tantrums when you’ll refused to watch his x-files with him? The one who’s a huge nerd for aliens? Why? “it’s not true…tell me it’s not true” Mattsun begs, this should not be true ‘cause Oikawa seems fine when they last saw him and what stage 4 lung cancer crap Iwaizumi is talking about?

“Oikawa-san’s definitely not dying…” Kindaichi said and Iwaizumi wish he can believe his kouhai but he knows well it’s not the truth, Oikawa’s dying.

\---

When the team visits Oikawa the next day, the karasuno and some of the nekoma and fukurodani are also there because Iwaizumi told Daichi the news and asked him to tell the others about it ‘cause he can’t bear to speak anymore.

And there Oikawa Tooru lies in his bed sleeping, a nasal cannula on his nose to supply him oxygen, a heart monitor on his side and other wires attached to his body. He’s so pale and Makki can’t take it anymore.

They’re all close to Oikawa especially Makki, way back when they were still in high school Oikawa will always tell Makki ‘ _Makki you’re so mean! why are you all always mean to me?’_ he’ll said pouting and Makki can’t never be more satisfied whenever he pissed off Oikawa.

 _“Mattsun likes you”_ Oikawa said one day out of somewhere and Makki almost choke on his water

_“what the crap are you talking about Oikawa?!”_

_“ow dear Makki! Don’t pretend so much you’ll regret it~”_

After that Mattsun and him got together, he can’t remember exactly what happened but it’s clear to him that it’s all because of Oikawa. It’s all because of Oikawa that he has Mattsun in his life right now, that they are both happy together and it’s all because of Oikawa that he has a life he will never trade for anything in this world.

Kyotani never cried this hard his whole life. He cared for Oikawa so much he owes his captain a lot. For all those times that no one wanted to talk to him ‘cause he’s a ‘mad-dog’ as what Oikawa calls him, Oikawa’s the only person that has the courage to talk to him and forced him to play volleyball. Oikawa was the one who help him get through his bullshits, it’s Oikawa that help him whenever he’s having trouble with his spikes, and it’s Oikawa who told him _‘mad-dog—chan! You’re a nice person, I don’t know why no one can see that and besides you watches x-files with me and that’s the greatest thing about you~’_.

When he saw Oikawa cried for the first time, it was the time when they lose to Karasuno, he promised himself to be better so that he can bring his captain and his team to nationals but it never happened.

Sometimes Oikawa will pull pranks at them especially at Kunimi ‘cause his kouhai get scared so easily and Iwaizumi always scold Oikawa for scaring his kouhais.

There are times that the whole team will eat ramen together (especially after matches and they let Oikawa pay for them all) and just tease Oikawa.

 _“Iwa-chan they’re all after me! Protect your boyfriend from them!”_ he’ll tell Iwaizumi pouting but Iwaizumi never tolerates Oikawa but he never let them hurt him as well (well not too much)

 _“stop it guys or Shittykawa will be shitty all day”_ Iwaizumi just tell the team plainly. They’ll just stay there talking about nonsense (it’s all Oikawa’s nonsense), sometimes they go to karaoke bar and Oikawa will sing on the top of his lungs.

They did a lot of things together and just recently they gathered together in a sushi place that Oikawa loves and now they gathered together again—but this is not a memory they want to treasure for the rest of their lives.

Kindaichi was never the one who cries but guess today he can’t hold it back.

 _“more importantly, Kindaichi…”_ Oikawa said to him in one of their matches against Karasuno _“I’m sure you’re rather frustrated that the role of Kageyama’s partner was stolen by that shrimpy-chan”_

_“no, not really…”_

_“it’s fine. Don’t sweat it. Even if Tobio thought of you as a minion that wasn’t very useful in junior high, I, the great Oikawa-san, will prove that you’re amazing, even without using god-like quicks…so don’t worry and just jump.”_ Kindaichi never really understand what Oikawa’s talking about that time but he did follow him still.

Oikawa helps him to get better, he’ll teach him everything even Kindaichi doesn’t give a damn.

“I can’t bear to look at Oikawa-san right now” Yahaba said, he and Oikawa shares the same position, Oikawa’s his role model. His senpai was never greedy about his knowledge about volleyball and being a setter, he trained him to be a better setter just like him and Yahaba can’t thank Oikawa enough for that.

He knows that above all the team members, he’s Oikawa’s favorite (except for his boyfriend Iwaizumi) and Oikawa’s very obvious with that.

 _“Yahaba-chan’s my baby so don’t pick fights with him ‘cause you’ll going to face me”_ Oikawa will always said whenever the team teased Yahaba, he’s like their baby, and Oikawa’s very protective of him because as what he always say _“you possesses the talent that I have and you will be the next Oikawa Tooru…so Ya-chan you should follow my steps~”_ as what he’ll always say to his kouhai.

When Oikawa woke up, Iwaizumi let the team to talk to him as he went for a walk for a bit.

They talk a lot of things and no one cried, as what Makki told them all, they should never cry in front of Oikawa no matter what but when Oikawa said ‘hi’ to them when he woke up, Makki almost burst into tears but Mattsun calm him down.

Yahaba’s tears threatened him but he did managed to hide it until he can’t anymore and excused himself to the bathroom…he never came back.

They didn’t stay for too long and told Oikawa to take a rest.

“don’t you dare die Oikawa Tooru or I’ll kill you” Makki warned him and Oikawa chuckles.

“aren’t you so sweet Makki~” Oikawa answered him smiling brightly it’s almost blinding. “Tobio-chan you’re hiding like I’m going to eat you” he saw Kageyama in the corner and teased him, as what expected from great Oikawa-san. Kageyama just nods, even if he’s not so close with Oikawa, he looks up at him and he’s the only person in this world than terrifies Kageyama when it comes to volleyball.   

They all bid their goodbyes and didn’t wait for Iwaizumi to come back. Makki’s crying on the way out and mostly of them cried when they got out form Oikawa’s room. They just can’t accept it.

Iwaizumi came back a moment later after the others left, and he didn’t expect Oikawa’s still up.

“hey…” Iwaizumi can’t make himself move from the door, it seems like his feet was stuck on the floor. “Iwa-chan” he forced himself to walk, every step seems feels like hell

“hey…how are you?”

“fine” Oikawa answered weakly.  “you can sit” he pointed at the plastic chair under the side table

“oh yeah…” Iwaizumi pulled it out.

“ _Hajime_ …” every time he hears his name coming from his husband his heart shattered.

“yes?”

“I’m sorry…”

“shhh…it’s ok” _it’s not ok, you’re leaving. You’ll soon leave me._

“I’m scared”

“shh I’m here, I will never leave your side I promise” _I’m scared as hell too, you’re everything to me_.

“Iwa-chan” he tightens his grip on Oikawa’s hands. He doesn’t want to let go of this hand, never.

“ _Tooru_ …”

“ _Hajime_ …”

“I’m sorry…please live longer…” he’s selfish, he knows it. He just can’t foresee his tomorrows without Oikawa. Without his best friend that would drain his patience, without his husband that he loves so much. His main who’s always there when the world doesn’t care about him. His core that keeps him alive after the world cuts him off. His strength when weakness enfolds him. His happiness when sadness tricks him. His rock his soul his heart.

“I’m sorry…”

“I love you” Iwaizumi whispers to Oikawa.

“I love you too…” Oikawa answered as he tried not to close his eyes. He knows he’s too close, he knows this moment will soon become just a memory. He knows he’s there, his time’s running out. He doesn’t want to leave yet…he wants to spend more time with Iwa-chan.

It’s hard. It’s hard to see the man you love in the end of his life. Iwaizumi was scared.

Oikawa moves a little giving a space on his side of the bed and letting Iwaizumi to lay with him. Iwaizumi did, his arms surrounds Oikawa’s body letting him lean half of his body on Iwaizumi’s chest.

“Iwa-chan…play _Close to you”_ it’s Oikawa’s favorite song and he insisted that that song should be their song together and Iwaizumi never really had a choice.

 _“Why do birds suddenly appear_  
_Every time you are near?_  
 _Just like me, they long to be_  
 _Close to you…”_

“I love you…” Iwaizumi started. He wants to say it over and over again.

Oikawa just nods every time Iwaizumi speaks. He can feel the brunette’s breathing, it’s unsteady and rough.

 _Why do stars fall down from the sky_  
_Every time you walk by?_  
 _Just like me, they long to be_  
 _Close to you_

 

“I love you” he lean his chin on Oikawa’s head still holding his cold hands slowly not to touch the IV’s on both hands.

“I love you” every time he speaks his heart breaks. He never imagine something like this, he can’t imagine life without Oikawa. They’ve been together since they were little and ever since they never leave each other’s side. He can’t imagine going home without Oikawa to throw himself and cling unto him like a monkey he can’t imagine his life without Oikawa to piss the hell out of him, without his husband that he promised _forever_ with.

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

“I love you even if you’re so annoying”

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

“I love you even if you’re so loud”

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

“I love you even if you drool on your pillows even you ended up using all my money for milk bread”

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

“I love you even how much you try to make me watch your alien movies, even I always turned you down I’ll always ended up watching it with you”

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

“I love you…I love you so much”

_Beep_

_Beep_

“I love you and I will always will”

_Beep_

_Beep_

“I love you even your breath stinks in the morning”

_Beep_

_Beep_

“I love you even if you’re leaving…” Iwaizumi’s tears continuously flows as he continued speaking hearing only the beeping of the heart monitor as an answer. He didn’t bother to wipe them away.

_Beep_

_Beep_

“I love you…”

_Beep_

_Beep_

“thank you…for everything”

_Beep_

“thank you for the friendship”

_Beep_

“thank you for all the good memories”

_Beep_

“thank you for being such a wonderful husband, for being you, for being mine”

_Beep_

_Beep_

“I love you, Shittykawa”

_Beep beep beep beep beep bbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppp…_

Flat line. He’s gone. Iwaizumi hugs his husband letting his tears to overflows. His lifeless husband, the lights dim. The sun sets. His life’s gone.

 

 _On the day that you were born the angels got together_  
_And decided to create a dream come true_  
 _So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue…_

_“Why do birds suddenly appear_   
_Every time you are near?_   
_Just like me, they long to be_   
_close to you…”_

Oikawa’s gone, but the song didn’t stop yet…

_“Iwa-chan! Sing it for me pleeesseeee~”_

_“no Shittykawa!”_

_“ppplllleeeaaaseee!!!!! I’ll sing it first then you go next ok?...*clears his throat* ‘why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you…”_ Iwaizumi never sing it for him

_“Iwa-chan…. sing itttttt!!!!!!!!!”_

_“NO!”_

_“but Iwa-chan…”_ then it stops and Iwaizumi remembers that’s when he snatched the phone from Oikawa ‘cause he figured that he’s recording it.

“ _That is why all the girls in town, follow you all around, just like me, they long to be…close to you…_ ” Iwaizumi finished the song. “I hope you heard that Trashykawa” he painfully laughs, he’s gone. “I love you _Tooru”_

**Author's Note:**

> Okay i did cry a bit after i finished writing this and i came up with an idea that I'M REALLY THE WORST. I hope you somehow like it. :)


End file.
